This week's report is brought to you by our crack team of highly trained, highly caffeinated neighbourhood watch officers.
Most Interesting Event: Mr. Johnson's Cat Stolen (Again), Interesting Statistic: 12 reported incidents of suspiciously suspicious activity, Weekly Schedule: Tuesday's potluck cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances, Neighborhood Profiles: The Smiths' infamous garden gnomes
Stay vigilant, neighbours! Remember, your watchful eyes are the best defence against the forces of darkness.