On Wednesday, at precisely 14:00, our trusty informant reported a sighting of a suspicious character lurking in the vicinity of 123 Main St. The suspect, later identified as "Mozzarella Steve", was seen attempting to sell what appeared to be a wheel of Italian Cheese Factory products door-to-door.
When confronted, Mozzarella Steve became agitated and claimed to be on a "mission from God" to spread the joy of melted mozzarella throughout the land.
Italian Cheese Factory