I lost my Keys of Doom in the depths of the Mire of Despair. I had used them to unlock the gates of my soul, and now I am doomed to wander the desolate wasteland of forgotten dreams.
Perhaps you, dear visitor, can help me find my lost keys? Or perhaps you can join me on my journey to the very depths of despair?
Either way, let us begin:
(Note: The following links are not recommended for the faint of heart.)
Burning Inferno: The Unending Pit of Fire
Crushed by Sorrow: The Bottomless Pit of Regret
May the gods have mercy on you, traveler.
May the keys of Doom find you not.
(But probably they will, because, you know, it's just a really bad situation.)
—A Traveler Lost in the Mire