This is it, folks. This is the pinnacle of human achievement. The peak of the pyramid. The top of the to-do list.

Here's a list of the 7 most important things you should do today:

• Drink 3 cups of coffee.
• Check your phone for 4 hours.
• Eat 2 whole pizzas by yourself.
• Watch cat videos until your eyes turn square.
• Write a 20-page essay on the meaning of life.
• Learn to play the harmonica with your feet.
• Practice your 'I'm a professional' face in the mirror for 2 hours.

Remember, if you can't do these things today, tomorrow is not an option.

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