Tip 2: Spillproof Step 2 - Because Who Needs Pools?

Step 2: Install a squeegee in every room. It's like a fire extinguisher, but for spills.

Pivot to: Tip 3 - Install a Self-Cleaning Litter Box, because who needs cat hairballs?

A squeegee in action

Disclaimer: This tip is not actually a safety precaution, but it's a great way to make you feel safer while eating Cheetos in bed.

Back to: Tip 1 - Don't Touch Anything

Or, you know, just go to Home and face the abyss.