Objective 1: Infiltrate the enemy's server farm using only a toaster and a can of spray cheese.
Objective 2: Steal their supply of overpriced artisanal coffee beans.
Objective 3: Replace their server software with a custom-built, 90s-style GeoCities website.
Objective 4: Hack their air hockey machine using only a paperclip and a stapler.
Equipment and Exit Strategies are listed below.