Terms of Service: Because You Clearly Didn't Read the Fine Print

By accessing, browsing, or attempting to use our services, you agree to the following:

You Will Not:

• Use our services to contact your ex, your mother, or your accountant.
• Post more than 3 cat pictures in a 24-hour period.
• Engage in any form of corporate espionage, unless explicitly authorized in writing by our lawyers.
• Try to understand what our lawyers are talking about.

You Must:

• Provide us with your firstborn child's name, height, and weight upon signing up.
• Contribute at least one original idea per month to our "Idea-Genius Bank" (see Idea-Genius Bank for details).
• Wear a "I'm a user of /neon" t-shirt on Fridays, or face the wrath of our AI-powered fashion police.
• Not attempt to use our services during a solar eclipse, unless explicitly authorized by our team of expert astronomers.

By ignoring or disregarding these terms, you agree to be bound by them, and we will ignore you until you comply.

See also: Our Privacy Policy: Because We're Not Actually Reading Your Email, Our Disclaimers: Because Who Needs Truth Anyway?, and Our FAQ: Because You're Clearly Lost.