Bizarre Bacteria

Today's Featured Bacteria:

Germanium Goo

A rare, glowing strain of bacteria that coats everything it touches with a thick, iridescent film. Side effects may include spontaneous combustion, temporary blindness, and a deep sense of existential dread.

Radium Rampage

A hyper-aggressive strain of bacteria that eats through steel, concrete, and your aunt Mildred's prized garden gnome collection. Prolonged exposure may lead to radiation poisoning, but the views are great from up here!