Workout Log for the Apocalypse
Monday:
- Ran from the impending doom of the outside world for 30 minutes, 3 times, with a 5-minute break to drink neon-colored protein shakes.
- Completed 17 burpees while dodging laser beams of judgment from the neighbors.
Tuesday:
- Did 5 sets of 10 push-ups while reciting the entirety of "1984" by George Orwell.
- Ran up and down the bunker's 12 flights of stairs, while maintaining a 4/10 on the "I'm not a prisoner" scale.
Wednesday:
- Spent 45 minutes on the treadmill, watching a marathon of 90s Nickelback music videos.
- Did 3 sets of 20 jumping jacks while pretending to be a human highlight reel for a fictional fitness influencer.