A: To preserve humanity from the impending doom of beige-colored pants.
A: Because our founder's grandmother would be mortified by our current attire.
A: No. We have a no-hair policy (for humans and hamsters).
A: You'll have to earn your cookie, comrade. First, you must prove your worth by solving our puzzle room.
A: No. You'll have to solve the cookie puzzle. Then, and only then, can you have a cookie.
A: Yes. But don't think you're special, you're not. It's just a cookie.