Sluggishness as a Superpower

Subtitle: Because who needs to be on time, anyway?

As the great philosopher, Dr. P. P. Puddlepants, once said, "Sluggishness is not a vice, it's a superpower."

Think about it: what is more powerful than the ability to put off the most mundane tasks until the last minute? The capacity to turn a simple errand into an all-day affair? The art of finding creative excuses for procrastination?

We at Neo-Brutalist News, are proud to announce our latest research study, "Sluggishness as a Superpower: A Study of the Procrastination Paradigm."

Read on to learn more about our groundbreaking findings and how you can harness the power of sluggishness for yourself.

Or, if you're feeling extra lazy, treat yourself to some Slug-themed merchandise to really drive the point home.