RAID Protocol: The Unyielding Guide to Survival in the Face of Armageddon

Welcome, fellow survivors! In the coming apocalypse, you'll need more than just a few cans of beans to make it through. That's where the RAID protocol comes in – a comprehensive guide to staying alive, no matter what the universe throws at you.

Phase 1: Preparation

Before the world as we know it ends, gather the following essentials: a reliable water supply, non-perishable food, a first-aid kit, a map, a Swiss Army knife, a fire starting kit, a backup plan (or three), and a good sense of humor.

Phase 2: Evacuation

When the SHTF (Sudden Onset Totalitarianism), make your way to a secure location, preferably with a reliable source of water and a decent internet connection. Don't bother with the government's recommended 'safe zones' – those are just traps, folks!

For those who prefer a more... unconventional route, try the 'Survivalist's Expressway': a network of secret underground tunnels and bunkers, accessible via a series of cryptic messages and obscure references to 80s pop culture.

• Tunnel Vision: The Art of Navigation
• Expressway Tactics: The Science of Avoiding Road Rage
• Underground Networking: Who to Trust and Who to Avoid