Office Hours: Eternal Recession FAQs

Q: I just lost my house in the Recession-a-pocalypse. Can I still get insurance?

A: Ah, yes! You can still get insurance, but only if you have a 3D-printed replica of the house that you lost. We have special discounts for customers with DIY projects.

Q: I'm not sure if my neighbor's cat is a good investment opportunity. Can you advise me on that?

A: Our experts say it's always a good time to invest in cute, fluffy things. Just be sure to read the fine print on your cat insurance policy.

Lost My House but Still Got a Mortgage? Insurance Policies for Cats

Don't forget, folks, that our office hours are only during leap years. Otherwise, you'll just have to deal with our automated answering machine, Bertrand.

Disclaimer: This is not real advice. We're just tryingประกto sell you some insurance policies while the world burns.