MONDAY MAYHEM: PANDEMONIUM EDITION

Good morning, office drones! Welcome to another exciting week of meetings, micromanagement, and existential dread.

As we all know, Monday mornings are the worst. The sun is not a friend, the coffee is still too hot, and the meetings start too soon.

But fear not, brave employees! We have a special treat for you today: the panic button.

Located conveniently in the break room, this button is your ticket to a stress-free day (or at least, a stress-reduced day).

How to Use the Panic Button:

1. Stressfully click the button to activate the panic response.
2. Take 5 minutes to hyperventilate, pace, and/or stare at the wall.
3. Return to your desk, refreshed and ready to tackle the day with a newfound sense of dread!

Side Effects of the Panic Button:

• Increased heart rate and blood pressure.
• Temporary loss of productivity.
• Uncontrollable urge to check email.

But wait, there's more!

As a special bonus, the panic button also comes with a complimentary 30-minute break, courtesy of the office manager's "urgent" meeting.

Don't miss out on this amazing opportunity to waste 30 minutes of your life!

Rules of Engagement | Panic Button FAQ