As a valued member of the Great and Powerful Ones, we're offering you the chance to apply for our exclusive Apocalypse Insurance Policy. This policy will provide you with:
A complimentary doomsday bunker
Free access to our underground bunker's state-of-the-art gym
Priority access to the remaining supplies of artisanal, organic, gluten-free, non-GMO apocalypse snacks
A 10% discount on all post-apocalyptic real estate
Don't wait until it's too late! Apply now and receive a free "I Survived the Apocalypse" t-shirt!