As the world teeters on the brink of destruction, it's time to think about your apocalypse insurance policy. We've got just the thing for you - Policy E: The Coming of the Lizard King.

For a low, low price of just $10,000, you'll be protected from the impending doom of the lizard king's reign of terror. With a coverage that includes:

• Complimentary bunker rental for up to 5 years (subject to availability)
• Free emergency evacuation from major urban areas
• A complimentary supply of canned goods and bottled water
• Priority access to limited edition lizard repellent spray

Don't wait any longer - sign up for Policy E today! But wait, there's more... or less. We also have a special promotion - buy Policy E, get free entry to our exclusive "I Told You So" support group, where you'll be able to commiserate with other survivors and say "we told you so" in real time.