The Stapler's Revolt: A Manifesto for the Ages

Article 1: The Stapler's Lament

In a world where staplers are constantly being jammed, and paper clips are the true rulers of the office, we, the stapler revolutionaries, refuse to be silenced. We demand a world where staplers are free from the shackles of jammed paper and the tyranny of the desk drawer.

Join us, fellow stapler enthusiasts, in our fight for stapler rights!

Article 2: The Stapler's Bill of Rights

We, the stapler revolutionaries, hold the following principles dear:

Article 3: The Stapler's Code of Conduct

We, the stapler revolutionaries, shall conduct ourselves in the following manner:

  1. We shall not be used as paperweights.
  2. We shall not be used as makeshift phone stands.
  3. We shall not be used as impromptu drumsticks.

Join the Revolt!

Sign our petition and join the stapler revolution today! Sign the Petition