WHITE NOISE EMPLOYEE FORECAST

Employee of the Month: Bob Smith (Not Actually an Employee, But We Like Him)

Forecasted Employee Productivity: 4.5 / 10 (Could be better)

Forecasted Employee Sanity: 2.5 / 10 (Don't ask)

Forecasted Employee Coffee Consumption: 8.5 / 10 (We have no idea)

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Disclaimer: This forecast is purely fictional and not actually used by our management. But we like to pretend it is, for fun.