WHITE NOISE EMPLOYEE RETIREMENT FUND SUBPAGE 4: THE LOST YEARS

Welcome to the most underfunded retirement fund in the history of White Noise Inc.! As of 2021, our employees are still waiting for their retirement checks to clear customs. In the meantime, we're forced to subsist on a diet of ramen noodles and dreams.

RETIREMENT FUND BALANCE:

- $0.00 (we're not even sure if this number is real)

EMPLOYEE TESTIMONIALS:

• "I'm not even sure what I'm retired from anymore," says Bob, former employee of 5 years.
• "I'm still waiting for my first paycheck," says Jane, new employee of 3 months.

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