WHITE NOISE AND MINDFULNESS

Welcome to the Office Meditation Room, where the only thing more intense than the fluorescent lighting is the existential dread of our employees.

Our office is equipped with state-of-the-art white noise machines, carefully calibrated to simulate the perfect blend of static and feedback loops to clear your mind and numb your emotions.

But don't just take our word for it! Here are some rules to help you get the most out of your office meditation experience:

Office Rules:

1. When in the Office Meditation Room, all employees are expected to wear the official "I'm Meditating" visors.
2. Please do not attempt to meditate while standing on one leg, as this may be seen as a challenge to the office's zero-tolerance policy on "office ninjutsu".
3. Remember, the white noise machines are not for playing music, but if you must, please use the "Bach's Cello Suites" playlist, as it's the only thing that can compete with the cacophony of office fluorescent lights.
4. Do not try to meditate with your eyes open, as this may cause you to see the horrors of reality and question the meaning of your existence.

For your convenience, we've included links to our other subpages:

More Office Rules

Meditation Tips for Success (or Despair)

The Break Room: Where Sanity Goes to Die