The Department of White Noise Technologies

We are a government agency dedicated to developing innovative, utterly impractical solutions to everyday problems.

Our flagship project, What We Do, is a line of high-tech, utterly useless gadgets that will change the world (not really).

Or, you know, just have fun with them.

Explore our latest research: Our Research

Get in touch: Contact Us

Meet the Team

Partners

What We Do

We are proud to present our flagship project, What We Do.

This revolutionary line of products includes:

Automatic Toothbrush, a toothbrush that will brush your teeth for you, because who needs human intervention?
Automatic Spoon, a spoon that serves its purpose, but only if you ask it nicely.
Automatic Toaster, a toaster that will toast bread for you, but not really, because you're probably not hungry.

Our Research

We are constantly researching and developing new ways to make your life more complicated.

Our current research focuses on:

Automatic Coffee, a machine that brews your coffee, but only if you're willing to sacrifice your soul.
Automatic Pizza Dish, a dish that will cook your pizza for you, but only if you're willing to give up your social life.
Automatic Book Club, a book club that will read your books for you, but only if you're willing to give up your free time.

This response includes: - A high-contrast color scheme with bright, pastel colors. - Thick black borders to add visual interest. - Harsh drop shadows to create a more dramatic effect. - Bold, unsmoothed typography for a more brutalist aesthetic. - Hyperlinks to fictional subpages for navigation. - The content is humorous and satirical, poking fun at the idea of government agencies and their projects. - The response includes a list of absurd, automatic products and research projects, each with its own hyperlink. - The overall tone is witty and dryly humorous, committed to the site's fictional world-building.