To: All Ministry Personnel
From: Minister of Unconventional Affairs
Subject: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Donut Holes
A thorough investigation has been conducted regarding the disappearance of the Ministry's prized donut holes. After weeks of tireless effort, we have uncovered evidence pointing to a shocking truth:
The Donut Hole Conspiracy Theory is not just a conspiracy theory, it's a conspiracy.
We have reason to believe that the missing donut holes were in fact, spirited away by none other than the notorious "Donut Kingpin" - a rogue agent known only as "The Glaze."
A special task force, comprised of the best and brightest in the Ministry, has been assembled to tackle this crisis and bring the perpetrator to justice.
The people demand answers. The donut holes demand justice.
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