Rules for the Most Absurd Olympic Games Ever

Rule 1: Athletes must wear matching jumpsuits made of pure gold

Don't even think about it, just do it.

• Athletes must use their own unique voice
• Athletes must perform in zero gravity

Rule 2: The winner of each event is chosen by the Emperor of the Olympics

Don't even ask why, just do as told.

• The Emperor is omniscient
• The Emperor is also a professional snail trail