Are you feeling a bit too paranoid, a bit too anxious, or perhaps just a bit too convinced that the government is out to get you?
Look no further than Onion Therapy, where our team of expert onion analysts will help you peel back the layers of your fragile mental state.
But wait, there's more! Our unique, scientifically-proven (totally not scientifically-proven at all) therapy techniques will have you feeling like a brand new person in no time.
Proceed to Layer 2: The Onion-Induced Hysteria for more information on our groundbreaking techniques.
Or, if you're feeling extra paranoid, try Layer 3: The Onion-Induced Madness for a truly existential experience.