More trading tips

Tip #1: Trade with your eyes closed

When trading, never open your eyes. The less you know, the more money you'll make.

Tip #2: Don't bother with charts

Charts are for suckers. Who needs numbers when you can just make things up as you go?

Tip #3: Trade in your pajamas

Trading is all about comfort. The more comfortable you are, the better your trades will be. Just ask the cat.