1. Quantum Fluctuation Theory - The universe's attempt to make sense of its own existence, but ends up in a tizzy.
2. Time Dilation Paranoia - A condition where time becomes relative, but only when you're trying to pay your taxes.
3. Chrono-Syndrome - The feeling of watching time go by, but your body is stuck in the past.
4. Temporal Looping - The infinite loop of déjà vu, where you relive the same day over and over.
5. Causality Confusion - When cause and effect are like two kids in a fistfight, and you can't get either to calm down.
6. Time Traveler's Terror - The fear of going back in time, only to find that you're the one who's been replaced.
7. Chrono-Displacement Syndrome - When time gets mixed up with space, and you're stuck in a world that's not your own.