CONTINGENCY PLANNING FOR THE APOCALYPSE

Phase One: Preparation is Key (or So We're Told)

Step 1: Stock up on canned goods. You know, the usual: beans, beans, beans.

Step 2: Learn basic first aid, but mostly just learn how to splint a good whiskey bottle.

Step 3: Develop a solid evacuation plan, including but not limited to: escape from the city, escape from the zombies, and most importantly, escape from your in-laws' basement.

Want more? Check out our Phase Two: Building Your Own Private Island for tips on constructing an impenetrable doomsday lair.

Or if you're feeling extra paranoid, visit our Phase Three: Building a Doomsday Subreddit for tips on building an online community to share your survivalist ideals with like-minded individuals.

Or if all of this seems too much, and you just want to give up, visit our Phase Four: The Surrender and learn the art of making the perfect grilled cheese sandwich.