Because, let's be real, humans are the most fascinatingly infuriating species on the planet.
A note to our readers: We've been overthinking these theories for weeks, months, years... decades? Maybe we're just making it up as we go. Maybe we've lost the plot. Maybe it's all just one big bag of atomic proportions.
This is a shadowy aside.
This is another shadowy aside.
This is a shadowy aside that's just a bunch of shadowy aside's aside.
You get the point.