Oxygen Leaks: Safety Policies

Section 1: Emergency Response

Don't panic! In the unlikely event of an oxygen leak, follow these procedures:

1. Stay calm, but not too calm. You know, like, just chill.
2. Alert nearby humans with a loud, yet non-panicked "Oxygen leak! Oxygen leak!"
3. Put on your oxygen mask (if you have one). If not, try to find a nearby human who has one, or just wing it.
4. Leave the area immediately, unless you're in a sealed room, in which case, just stay put and enjoy the show.

For more information, visit our First Aid and What to Do page.

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, head over to our Oxygen Hacking page to learn how to rig up your own emergency oxygen supply.

Section 2: Oxygen Leak Etiquette

When interacting with others during an oxygen leak emergency, remember:

• Don't touch anyone else's oxygen tank. That's just rude.
• Don't try to take an oxygen selfie. We have security cameras, you know.
• Don't make "I'm a little teapot" jokes. Those are just tired.

For more on oxygen leak etiquette, visit our Oxygen Leaks Protocols page.

Section 3: Oxygen Leak Statistics

Some interesting facts about oxygen leaks:

• On average, 4 out of 5 people will experience an oxygen leak at some point in their lives.
• Oxygen leaks are the leading cause of spontaneous combustion in the office.
• Our CEO has never had an oxygen leak, but that's only because he's a robot.

For more stats on oxygen leaks, visit our Oxygen Leaks Data page.

Section 4: Oxygen Leak Support Group

Join our oxygen leak survivors support group, where you can share your story, your trauma, and your oxygen tank.

Learn more about our support group.

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