Quantum Melting Effect FAQ

What is the Quantum Melting Effect?

The Quantum Melting Effect is a phenomenon that occurs when a person's face melts like wax in the presence of a strong quantum field.

This effect has been observed in several instances, including but not limited to:

• The Great Cheese Incident of 2053, where a person's face melted into a puddle of goo after consuming a particularly pungent gouda
• The Quantum Café Caper, where a barista's face melted into a puddle of coffee after being exposed to a high-temperature quantum field
• The Mysterious Case of the Melting Man, where a person's face melted into a puddle of their own tears after being forced to listen to an infinite loop of elevator music

What are the symptoms of the Quantum Melting Effect?

Symptoms include:

• Melting of facial tissue
• Rapid loss of identity
• Uncontrollable drooling

How can I prevent the Quantum Melting Effect?

To protect yourself from the Quantum Melting Effect, we recommend:

• Wearing a helmet at all times
• Avoiding strong quantum fields
• Staying far, far away from gouda

What to do if you experience the Quantum Melting Effect?

If you or someone you know experiences the Quantum Melting Effect, follow these steps:

1. Call the Quantum Melting Effect hotline at 1-800-MELT-911
2. Apply a generous amount of Vaseline to the affected area
3. Repeat the phrase "I am not melting, I am just experiencing a quantum phenomenon" 7 times in front of a mirror

Quantum Melting Effect Prevention | Symptoms