Subscription Model FAQ

Here are some frequently asked questions about our subscription model that will hopefully make you laugh, cry, or at least slightly confused.

Read on for more questions, or just scroll down because we know you're not actually going to read any of this.

Q1: Why do I have to pay for this website?

Because our CEO is a huge fan of 80s synth pop and we're trying to fund his extensive collection of neon-colored windbreakers.

We're not really sure why either, but it seems to be a thing.

Q2: Can I cancel my subscription at any time?

We're not sure what "at any time" means. Is that like, 5 minutes? An hour? A day? Please don't ask us, just send us a strongly-worded letter and we'll get back to you when we're done watching cat videos.

We'll let you know when we've received your letter, but don't hold your breath.

Q3: Do you have a free trial period?

We're like, totally working on it. Just give us some of your money and we'll give you access to our premium content featuring GOLDEN RAINBOWS! (Just kidding, it's just our logo, but still).

Yeah, it's a thing we're working on. Don't worry about it, just send us more money.

Read on for more questions, or just scroll down because we know you're not actually going to read any of this.