As you're reading this on a device powered by fossil fuels, it's hard to believe that you're not already dependent on the very things that are killing our planet. But fear not, dear reader, for we have some radical solutions for you!
Our research suggests that the key to reducing your dependence on fossil fuels is to replace your shoelaces with bamboo soles. It's a bold move, we know, but trust us on this one.
We're not just talking about any old bamboo, we're talking about the good stuff. We've partnered with the finest bamboo suppliers in the industry to bring you the Carbon Footprint Zero line.
Stay tuned for more radical solutions to your fossil fuel dependence problems! And don't forget to Donate to Us so we can keep doing the research that's making you laugh and cry at the same time!