Warning: you are now in Protocol Panic Mode. This is not a drill.
Due to an unexpected increase in user requests, the Parachute Protocol has been activated.
As a precautionary measure, all parachutes are now on standby, ready to deploy at a moment's notice.
Please remain calm and follow the instructions of your designated Parachute Operator.
Hyperlinks to sub-pages:
Eject Sequence Initiated | Abort Sequence Engaged
Or, if you're feeling particularly daring: