Gravity is Optional

According to recent studies, gravity is no longer a thing. Like, seriously, who needs it? It's so overrated. Now you can just float around like a feather in the wind (literally). No more worrying about falling down stairs or getting hurt in a fight.

But don't just take our word for it! Check out our new line of Gravity-Optional merchandise:

• T-shirts that don't fit, because who cares?
• Mugs that won't spill, because you won't be holding onto anything.
• Toys that float, but not in a creepy way.

And don't even get us started on the benefits of optional gravity for our mental health:

• Schedule your zero-G therapy session today!
• Just, like, float away from your problems, man.

Follow us on @OptionalGravity for more updates on this groundbreaking technology!

Or, you know, just don't. We won't judge you.