Ghosting 101: The Paranoid Guide

Are you tired of feeling seen? Are you sick of being known? Do you just want to be ignored?

Then ghosting is for you! This comprehensive guide will walk you through the art of slowly, gradually, and completely disappearing from the lives of your loved ones.

Chapter 1: The Basics of Ghosting

Ghosting is the act of suddenly and without explanation ceasing all communication with someone. It's like the digital equivalent of a silent treatment, but with more likes and comments on social media.

But don't just take our word for it! Here's a step-by-step guide to getting started:

• Stop responding to messages
• Unfollow and unfollow and unfollow some more
• Delete all photos and conversations from your social media
• Change your phone number
• Move to a remote cabin in the woods

And voila! You're officially a ghost!

Chapter 2: Advanced Ghosting Techniques

But why stop there? With our advanced ghosting techniques you can:

• Set your phone to do-not-disturb, but not really
• Send a series of cryptic and confusing messages that will drive them crazy
• Bury your number deep within a fake email account
• Leave a trail of breadcrumbs that leads nowhere