Paranoid Protection Services

Protecting you from your own sanity

Welcome to the most secure website in the world. Our state-of-the-art protection services will keep you safe from the dangers of your own thoughts.

Our Overthinking Insurance (Protecting you from the horrors of 'what ifs')
Our Constant Justification Services (Keeping you safe from your own self-doubt)
Our Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) Protection (Shielding you from the anxiety of not being on every social media platform)

Send us an email at paranoidprotection@gmail.com and let us know if you have any questions or if you just really, really want to.

Or, if you're feeling really paranoid, you can try calling us at 1-800-TELL-ME-I-AM-OKAY