html Doornomics 101: The Paranoid Penalties Guide

Paranoid Penalties: Doornomics 101

A Guide to Not Losing Your Mind

Welcome to the world of Doornomics, where paranoia knows no bounds. In this guide, we'll cover the basics of not going completely insane.

Door Sweeper Basement Protocol (DSBP) - A crucial step in securing your basement from intruders.

Bulletin Board Registry (BBR) - Keep track of every little thing that's wrong with your life.

Neighborhood Watching Agenda (NWA) - Monitor your neighbors' every move, because you never know when they might be plotting against you.

Advanced Squirrel Techniques (AST) - A series of expert-level strategies for outsmarting those pesky squirrels.

Secret Squirrel Society (SSS) - Join the ranks of the most elite squirrely minds in the field.

			
				// Example code for securing your basement
				var paranoidMode = true;
				while (paranoidMode) {
					suspectEveryNoise = false;
					if (suspectEveryNoise) {
						call911();
					}
				}