Welcome to the world of Doornomics, where paranoia knows no bounds. In this guide, we'll cover the basics of not going completely insane.
Door Sweeper Basement Protocol (DSBP) - A crucial step in securing your basement from intruders.
Bulletin Board Registry (BBR) - Keep track of every little thing that's wrong with your life.
Neighborhood Watching Agenda (NWA) - Monitor your neighbors' every move, because you never know when they might be plotting against you.
Advanced Squirrel Techniques (AST) - A series of expert-level strategies for outsmarting those pesky squirrels.
Secret Squirrel Society (SSS) - Join the ranks of the most elite squirrely minds in the field.
// Example code for securing your basement
var paranoidMode = true;
while (paranoidMode) {
suspectEveryNoise = false;
if (suspectEveryNoise) {
call911();
}
}