Paranoid Pong Tables: The Ultimate in Paranoid Paddle Technology

Are you tired of just playing Pong like a normal person? Do you want to take your game to the next level of paranoia?

Look no further than our range of Paranoid Pong Tables! With our tables, you'll be the only one on the court, and everyone else is just a pawn in your game of cat-and-mouse.

Featuring:

• Triple-rebound technology, so you can never let the ball out of your sight.
• A built-in panic-room, because you never know when the apocalypse might hit.
• And, of course, a special "Squirrel Mode" for when you're feeling extra paranoid.

Don't just play Pong, live it. Live it, breathe it, and obsess over every bounce.

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Frequently Asked Questions (But Not Really)