Welcome, Paranoid!
Here's a recipe for the most potent, most effective, most utterly bewildering survival soup the world has ever known:
Ingredients:
- 1 cup of existential dread
- 1/2 cup of impending doom
- 1/4 cup of crippling uncertainty
- 1/4 cup of social awkwardness
- 1 tablespoon of government surveillance
- 1 teaspoon of climate change anxiety
Instructions:
- Stir counterclockwise for 7 minutes while repeating "What if?" to yourself.
- Add a dash of conspiracy theories for an extra boost of paranoia.
- Serve with a side of cat videos for maximum entertainment value.
Side Effects:
- Mild to severe panic attacks
- Temporary (or permanent) loss of sleep
- Irreversible damage to relationships
- Inability to distinguish between reality and fiction
Side effects may vary. Prolonged consumption can lead to Lost in the Woods.