BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME, A SOVEREIGN PARMESAN KING,

I, PARMESAN THE GREAT, KING OF THE LAND OF CHEESE,

HEREBY DECLARE THE FOLLOWING:

1. PARMESAN FEST SHALL BE CELEBRATED WITH GLORY AND JOY, FOR IT IS THE HIGHEST HONOR OF THE LAND.

2. ALL CITIZENS OF PARMESAN LAND SHALL BE REQUIRED TO WEAR PARMESAN-COLORED CLOAKS ON THE DAY OF THE FEST, THAT THEY MAY BE RECOGNIZED BY THEIR FELLOW CITIZENS AS PARMESAN.

3. THE FEST SHALL BE CELEBRATED WITH FEASTING AND MAKING MERRY WITH ALL manner of CHEESE-BASED DELICACIES, FOR IT IS A DAY FOR LAUGHTER AND GLORY.

DONE IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS CHEESY,

I, PARMESAN THE GREAT, KING OF THE LAND OF CHEESE,

BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME,

HAVE SIGNED AND SEALED THIS PARMESAN PROCLAMATION,

IN THE YEAR OF THE GOAT, IN THE AGE OF THE WHEEL, ON THE DAY OF THE FEST.