Surprisingly Useless Advice for Trees

For the modern tree looking to stand out in a crowded forest:

Tip 1: Practice your best impression of a toad

Why not? It's a classic.

Tip 2: Develop a passion for the art of napping

It's a skill, trust us, it's a skill.

Tip 3: Invest in a collection of antique door knobs

You never know when you'll need one.