We're a team of highly trained fiber optic specialists who can convert your thoughts into fiber optic cables. Because, why not?
It's simple. We use our patented Fiber Optic Transmogrification Process (FOTP) to turn your thoughts into actual fiber optic cables. It's like magic, but with more fiber.
Anything! Your hopes, your dreams, your fears. We can convert them all into fiber optic cables. Want to convert your cat's thoughts into fiber? We can do that too.
Of course! Our FOTP process is completely safe and non-invasive. Unless you have a lot of thoughts. Then it's just a little invasive. But hey, it's a small price to pay for fiber.
Fine print, do your own research.