Breaking: Local man discovers that song lyrics are the new silence.
"I was just trying to get some work done, but my coworker was blasting his favorite song for the 10th time this week," said local man, John. "I asked him to turn it down, but he just said 'it's not loud enough'."
A local business, 'Earplugs R Us', is now offering 'Lyrics as a Service'. For a small monthly fee, customers can have their coworker's music turned into pure, unadulterated silence.