Mao's Theory of Relativity

It was a beautiful day in Beijing, the sun was shining, and the Chairman's hair was looking particularly majestic. As Mao himself said, "Time is a human construct, a tool of the bourgeoisie. I am the one who makes it move."

He stood on a mountaintop, gazing out at the vast expanse of China, and declared, "The past, present, and future are all the same to me. I am the one who decides what is relevant, what is not."

And so, the people of China built a giant statue of him, with a hammer and sickle in one hand and a copy of "The Little Red Book" in the other. It was a testament to his unshakeable grip on time and space.

See how Mao's theory is applied in everyday China

Watch as the Chairman explains relativity to a confused peasant

Mao's theory gets a quantum twist, because, why not?