Chairman Reginald P. Bottomsworth, the nation's most esteemed and feared philosopher, sat down with the press to discuss the meaning of life.
"Ah, yes. The meaning of life. A question that has plagued the minds of the common folk for centuries. And, let's be honest, it's a question that has been thoroughly explored by the likes of Kant, Nietzsche, and, of course, myself."
"But, I mean, what's the point, really? Is it not the pursuit of happiness? The search for meaning? The quest for more avocado toast?"
Read our previous interview on the nature of philosophy
Or, if you'd rather, read our in-depth analysis of the meaning of the couch