Present: Descartes, Kant, Nietzsche, and one very confused intern.
Meeting called to order at 10:00 AM. Descartes arrives late, apologizes profusely, and asks for the meeting to be rescheduled for 5:00 AM.
First item of business: The Meaning of Life. Descartes declares, "I think, therefore I am. Also, I think, therefore I need more coffee."
Kant chimes in, "The meaning of life is to follow the categorical imperative, which is to wear a tie and a cardigan, even on Fridays."
Nietzsche grins mischievously and mutters, "The meaning of life is to live life to the fullest... and also to wear a leather trenchcoat."
Intern nods enthusiastically, unsure what any of it means.
Next item of business: The Nature of Reality. Descartes posits, "Reality is whatever I say it is. Also, is it Tuesday?"
Kant counters, "Reality is what we can perceive through the senses, and also what our cat says."
Nietzsche interjects, "Reality is just a social construct, man."
Intern scribbles furiously in notebook, hoping to get it all down.
Adjourning the meeting at 12:00 PM, the subcommittee members all agree to reconvene the following Thursday.
See also: