Principle 1: Everyone is equal under the law, but some are more equal than others. (Pun intended.)
Principle 2: The right to a fair trial by a jury of their peers, unless those peers have a really good lawyer.
Principle 3: The burden of proof is on the prosecution, but the burden of caffeine is on the defendant.
Principle 4: The accused are innocent until proven guilty, but the judge is not.
Principle 5: The right to remain silent, unless that right has been waived by a really convincing offer.
Or, if you're feeling particularly cynical, you might enjoy: