We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, but some are more equal than others.
That the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is but a myth, a fleeting concept, a distant dream.
That the only thing more powerful than love is the power of a well-crafted sentence.
And that the only thing more terrifying than the abyss is the abyss of uncertainty.
So, join us in our quest for the meaning of it all, or just come for the free cake.
But be warned: the cake is just a metaphor for the meaninglessness of life.