The Squeeze: A Galactic Pizza Disaster
Phase 2: The Cheese Squeeze
As the planet's crust continues to buckle under the pressure of an ever-growing pizza demand, the once-thin crust has turned into a thick, rubbery mess.
The Meltdown: Phase 3 The Cheesy Curse: A Tale of Woe Quantum Pizza: A Theory of EverythingSqueeze Statistics
Galactic Pizza Demand: 4.2 billion pizzas per second
Crust Collapse Rate: 3.5% per hour
Proton-Neutrino Ratio: 42:1
The Squeeze Timeline
- Phase 1: The Great Pizza Boom (3.5 billion years ago)
- Phase 2: The Squeeze (2 billion years ago)
- Phase 3: The Meltdown (1 billion years from now)