Technical Specs for the Phi-Beta Players' Not-Working Controls

The Phi-Beta Players' Not-Working Controls are a line of high-quality, state-of-the-art widgets that promise to make your life easier, but often fail to deliver.

Hardware Specifications

Our controls come equipped with:

• One broken button that doesn't do anything
• A flashing red light that just looks pretty
• A dial that doesn't move, but looks nice on the wall

Software Requirements

To operate the Phi-Beta Players' Not-Working Controls, you'll need:

• A Phineas-Watson 9000 operating system
• A compatible browser with JavaScript enabled
• A strong stomach for disappointment and frustration

For more information, visit our FAQ page

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try troubleshooting the issue yourself.

And if all else fails, contact our Customer Support Team for assistance.